In the previous article we discussed a lot of development for babies as a guide to what you should look at when you are parenting. This article is going to pay more attention to the development of an older child and how understanding development will help with parenting. Some children are just naturally easy to raise. They don’t fuss a lot, they hardly need discipline, and they are just the greatest ever. This type of child is rare. In fact you are more likely to experience problems as the child grows up and you learn how to parent. These tips are not specific. It doesn’t mean that every child will behave or develop in the same manner, but as long as you understand what is going one with the child you can help them to understand as well.
Here is an example. As Jenna reached puberty she noticed her body was changing, and she had heard about different things that her body would be going through, but this didn’t really help alleviate her fears. Most of the information came from her friends, who had heard it from other peers. Her mother noticed the changes going on, but didn’t sit down to talk with Jenna. When her first menstrual cycle began Jenna thought something was terribly wrong.
Here is a second example: Betty noticed her body was going to change, in fact her friend asked if she was going to ask for a bra on the next shopping trip, since they were in fourth grade and it seemed everyone was getting a bra that they new. Betty was feeling a little trepidation over asking, since she hadn’t really though much about it. That day when she got home before she had to ask for a bra her mom told her she had something for her, and out of the shopping bag was a training bra.
Do you notice the difference? Betty’s mom realized that her child was changing, that it was time for a bra not only because Betty was showing signs of development, but because she was in an age group where the developmental stage was natural. On the other hand you have Jenna’s mom who didn’t seem to care enough to explain the actual events from an adult perspective. When you are learning about the development of your child through books, videos, and even psychology classes you are going to have a better handle on parenting. Since parenting is a full time job it is important to be observant, to let the child grow, and help them through the development. It is not enough to just know about the development in order for you to parent, you have to take what you learn and help the child understand that development as well. The only way to succeed is by being there for your child at every opportunity. This means not only understanding and imparting the information, but also helping them through the rough times, talking with them on their age level, and of course care and love.